What I am lookin for

Okay, try #3 .. this posting thing sucks! If i try to scroll up to high, my whole post gets erased!!!! arg! Okay .. so here we go again! :(


I am so thankful for all that I have in my life. For my friends who love and care about me, for my family and for all that I have accomplished. I feel very fortunate for the opportunities that I have had in the past. I have gone to college and had some education. I just recently was able to move out of my parents’ house and in with my best friend, Andrea. I’ve lived very well off, and been basically given all that I need. Now, granted that’s not always what I want, but I’m not complaining. For all of these things, and more, I am very happy with how my life is right now. Of course, there is always room for improvement, and I’m always willing to improve and make myself a better person. And sometimes all I need is someone to remind me of this.

I’ve been in a rut the past few months, maybe even the past year. I haven’t been able to figure out what I want to do with school. I have tried many areas of study, and none of them turn out to be what I’m looking for. Which isn’t all that bad, I just feel unproductive. Most of my friends have either graduated or have figured out where their life is heading, educationally. They have made goals and are accomplishing them at astounding rates. I feel very fortunate to be around such goal-orientated people because I know that seeing them achieve their goals will push me harder towards making and achieving mine. They also help me to get motivated to continue my education. They make me realize that is important, and that I should do what I must to figure out what will make me happy. The main thing I am realizing right now is that having a good education in an area of study you enjoy will be very fulfilling, especially if you land a career that will take that further.

Now, the job I have now, notice that I say job and not career, I am quite unhappy at. I used to love it, but after a while, it got monotonous and very unfulfilling. The other issue I have is with upper management. Now, most employers are like this, where the upper management sucks. Because of my car accident in January, I’ve had to take more than my share of days off, due to headaches, which I never got before, and back pain, which I’m still getting used to living with. Instead of giving me a verbal warning, which would be the correct way to solve this problem, they skipped right to a written one. Now I’m on probation, meaning no days off (which is fine, I know I’m guilty of that, but hey there’s only so much I can do), working from 8-4:30 (yuck! Traffic sucks), and blah blah blah for 3 months.

Before this even came about I was unhappy, so I decided a few months ago to start getting my resume out. I have had a few people contact me, and today after work I’ll be meeting with someone from a temp agency. The only problem is that it’s a temp agency, meaning they could ‘fire’ me at any time. Unfortunately rent, car payment, and car insurance do not pay themselves. I need a steady job. But I think right now, I’ll take what I can get. I’m not going to say that anything would be better than this place, cause it’s not that horrible, but I’m definitely keeping my options open.

As my closing comment, I’d like to thank everyone: my family, my friends, and my boyfriend most of all, for helping me achieve my goals, for pushing and motivating me to be a better person, for making me want to achieve my goals, and not for their own benefit, but for mine. I know some of the people I know are just ‘passing by’ and others are here to stay. That doesn’t matter to me. I love you all, and I don’t know what I would do without your love and support. Thanks for kicking me and getting my butt back in gear!